First Haircut!

We took the burrito for his first haircut today! I had been putting if off, because 1) there's no way he's that old and 2) his curls were so cuuuuuuuute. But necessity won over the curls - we had been pushing his hair out of his eyes for weeks, and the back of his hair was touching his collar (gasp! not that! says my boot-camp-loving husband)...so I caved.


We took him to a place about four blocks from our house (so lucky to live in an area that has a "main street" with businesses like this!) that specializes in kid's cuts. It's called...wait for it...Kids Cuts. They have a couple chairs that are of varying height and design - burrito's had a wheel on the front. I was surprised, he was kept amused by that until almost the end of the haircut! We just had it trimmed, as I'm not a fan of buzzing little ones, and I love his hair. Towards the end when it was time to bring out the clippers he was getting a bit fussy, so his daddy held him for the clipper portion of the cut. He did great overall. And he looks like such a little boy now. *sniff*

such a head of hair.

Look, everyone!

all done! with new little-boy hair!

first birthday pictures

For your viewing pleasure!

The burrito the day before his party, with his present from his uncle, a new John Deere lawn mower:
















At his party, "opening" his presents - or, watching the other kids open them. And, checking out a toy with daddy.
 
 



 













The presentation of the cake: momma and dada blew out the candle.

 Time for cake!!

The current status of things; or, less than 20 days until his birthday.

I have no idea how it went this fast. The past year, I mean. I'm busy preparing for his first birthday party, which means attempting to make a #1-shaped photo collage, and just looking through the pictures brings back memories.

And also? Sometimes looking at those pictures after he's gone to bed make me forget what he looks like now, so I have to sneak into his room to peer at his sweet sleeping baby face.

And then, I have to take 5 minutes to tiptoe out on certain floorboards that don't creak. Stupid house built in 1925. But this may all be solved with the addition of "baby crack" to the burrito's room...

ANYWAY. An update of sorts, or a timeline rather, to show the boy's progress since I last updated:

9 months - two bottom teeth pop out; he completes his primer on crawling and begins to hate the bouncer; we start doing full meals with snacks and he self-weans to two bottles and three nursing sessions a day

10 months - two bottom teeth are fully in and two top teeth come in, one at at time; he begins to climb the stairs; table food is a must all of a sudden and he's dining with the big kids now

11 months - four shiny new teeth and momma's nips hurt; walking commences! he is now able to drunken-stagger from one room to the next; self-weans to two bottles and TWO nursing sessions a day; eating off of momma's plate and demanding bites when not in his high chair

That's right folks, walking. It's a crazy thing. He's also started this new hating-my-crib project, where the goal is to sleep in a parental lap or bed. Sooooooo we're letting him cry it out (CIO for you newbs). Sunday, Monday, suckage; he acted like the crib was torture. Chinese water-boarding. The Guantanamo Bay of baby sleep areas. It took over an hour of crying, with two breaks for momma-comfort and a replacement pac. I really need to get to the store and get that baby crack already. When it stops raining.

So, his birthday coming up. There was some dramz, because we have a tiny tiny house and don't want to sardine these folks. I'm planning some decorations, but there is a LOT to do - I took two full days off before the party (Thursday, the day of his birth last year, and Friday) to help compensate. We still need to figure out the food and the cake. Sammich tray, yes. Everything else? Clueless. As of right now, it's fall-ish outside, so do we stick with lemonade? Or go with apple cider? Argh!

Then, I'd like to finish that collage and make him a happy birthday banner that matches his colors on his invitation. Here is it, btw:

Cutest baby evah. I love the face, and the hat. It's from vacation. Saving that for a whole notha post, if I ever get the time for that. Bah.

So, time for bed - didn't get to run my mile tonight, but hey, I worked until 715 instead, for overtime - OH WAIT I don't get that. ::searches classifieds::

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I hope I looked like hell this morning

because I totally ignored everyone on my way into daycare. I rather hope that they figured "eh, she's just bitchy cause she's exhausted/sick/undead."

Burrito fell asleep on the floor at 7 last night. I carried him up to bed, where we both had blissful sleep from 10 to 11, at which point he awoke and began to fuss. I figured he was hungry, so I fed him - after one side, he fell asleep. I rocked him for a few minutes, and then attempted to put him back in his crib.

no dice.

So back to the rocking chair, where he "fell asleep" again. I'm thinking he's playing possum here. Again with the crib, again no dice. I figured I'd try this "cry it out" thing, since he's almost 10 months, and normally sleeps through the night in his crib. I changed his diaper before it as well, to make sure there was nothing else he was complaining about. Everything seemed go for sleep.

SO, 5 minutes later, he's still crying. I go back in, pick him up, pat him on the back, put him back down, paci in mouth, blanket on. Crying again. Next time, just put his paci back in, pat him on the butt, done. Crying again. After an hour of this (I'm not sure if I kept it up every 5 minutes exactly, it was midnight-ish after all), I decided to try something, and moved him over into my bed instead of rocking him. He settled right down. Ah. Ha.

Back in the crib, buddy boy. There is no way I will get any sleep with him in the bed - and it's not safe. I had the huge body pillow on one side and me on the other, but if he were to wake up and crawl away without waking me up, his head + the wood floor? not good. And if he stays there, I'd be waking up every five seconds to make sure he's still there.

Sooooo, the crying went on for another hour until he calmed down and finally fell asleep. With me rubbing his chest. For about five minutes. All of this = one exhausted mom. I decided to take a mental health day today, as this weekend was insanely busy, and I was "ON" all weekend. You know the term, right moms? Or anyone who has ever watched kids? You have to be the go-to person, the entertainer, the caretaker, the feeder, etc. I needed some Cat time again. Just me. And I'm pretty sure that everyone's been there before. In order to be the parent I want to be, I need a little down time every now and then. This is only the 2nd time I have taken him to daycare and stayed home, and the previous time I had the stomach flu.

Today, I'm going to do some yoga, make myself some healthy meals, drink lots of water, and relax. Maybe some pilates too and a walk with the dog. Later on? I'll make my husband a pineapple upside down cake. And pick up the kid of course, feeling renewed and ready to play.

Of course, I'll have to go back to work tomorrow...but work is a post for another day.

And, happy birthday to my wonderful husband!

5 month pics. About 2 weeks late. Oops.

Happy five months Burrito!

the big boy

he ate the seahorse about 5 seconds after this picture.

looking a bit scared as I got the camera set up.

he found his feets!

The Scariest Moment of my Life

It's high time I write about this, not just for me but for anyone else who may happen upon this blog so that their fears may be somewhat calmed If this happens to their child. Or so I hope. I worry all the time that an illness or injury may not get paid enough attention because the signs or symptoms are common or mimic something else, especially after what happened to my beloved Stella. But now that these things have happened, and we have survived, we can learn and be more vigilant in case they would happen again. So I guess what I mean to say is, I've been there.

So the burrito's cold is progressing, and we think he's getting a little better because of the lack of cough for a little bit. But at 3am on Dec 26, he woke up to eat, and during his 2nd side he started to cough. I propped him up and got the burp cloth in case he threw up everything he just ate, which he had done 3 times so far. He keeps coughing and nothing's coming out. I ask hubs to take him and hold him upright, in case he does spit up. He holds him and rubs his back, burrito still coughing.

At this point, we were getting worried, and that's when I saw him start to turn red over hubs' shoulder. I yelled out "he's turning red!" and had a moment of sheer panic in which the thought oh my god my baby's going to die ran through my head. Hubs turned him over and did some back blows in case there was anything lodged in his throat, as he was also choking and sputtering a bit. A little spit up came out but that's it. Finally, after what seemed like a millennium, he started getting air, slowed the coughing, and calmed down.

He handed him to me and said, ok we're going to the hospital. I panicked again, with the thought oh my god my baby's sick enough for the hospital, and kind of just stood there while hubs got dressed. I finally had to say to him, what should I do? Because my mind was in such a haze I had no direction but to hold my son. He said, get your pants on, put on a sweatshirt, and let's go. I went downstairs and he grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around me and burrito, and he opened the door. I asked if we were going to put him in his seat, but he said no, let's just go, I want to get there as soon as possible. We got in the truck and drove the mile to the hospital, with burrito fussing the whole way, but not coughing anymore. Valet parked, walked in to the ER. Hubs did all the talking, I just held my boy. They brought us back and got his weight (wrong, lol) and assessed him, got him into a ginormous hospital gown and put him on a pulse ox monitor, which he kept kicking off - he kicked it off 3 times until they finally got wise and put some of that tape-ish stuff around his foot. : )

It was a little while until we saw the dr, but he was very nice and spoke very fast but was to the point. He wanted to get x-rays to make sure that he didn't have pneumonia, and to take some blood to test for pertussis, and he'd call our pedi and let them know we were here. The blood draw was worse than all the previous ones because he was already upset, and then it took forever to get the amount of blood they needed. In between all of this we put one of those heavy hospital blankets on him and encouraged him to sleep. He was in a bed that could  be tilted up, so that if he did have any mucus, it wouldn't choke him. We got another bulb and continued to suction him when he sounded sniffly. We kind of half-rested while everyone came in and out. The x-rays were awful, as they needed to hold him completely still and he just wasn't having that. The x-ray tech would set the machine, have the nurse and hubs hold him, and then run - literally - to the control to take the pic. They did 3, since the first side x-ray didn't come out as clearly as they wanted. They put him in my arms after it was done and I held him and soothed him as best I could. Poor kid.

The pedi arrived around 8, and as soon as she got there, burrito decided to show off his new skillz and have a coughing fit, which was good timing, because when he wasn't coughing, he was contentedly talking to her. She said it was good that he timed it so, because she'd be wondering what he was doing in the hospital otherwise. She looked him over and decided that to make sure that he wasn't having apnea spells during the coughing fits, she wanted to keep him for observation overnight. We kind of looked at each other like - eh? Really? For a cold? But it made sense, as I can still recall the feeling of panic when that little face turned red. I wanted to make sure there was nothing but a cold going on here.

So hubs went home to shower and get our bags, bring me an actual shirt, and grab some food. I was feeding burrito on and off, sitting him on my lap so he wouldn't cough as much (or so I hoped), but he didn't eat a whole lot at a time. I figured that if he wanted to add more feedings, and not eat as much at a time, that was fine with me - whatever kept him hydrated. It was a little tough without the boppy, and with a very uncomfortable hospital chair that converted into a very uncomfortable bed-type thing. We got checked into our room and got settled in, I got my menus for dinner and breakfast the next morning, and hubs called his mom to update them. I had been texting my mom since early morning, she was catching a train to Florida at the time! He turns to me and says "ok if my mom comes to visit?" (to the phone) "I'm sure she'd like some company." I looked at him like he was crazy and said, "I'm going to sleep." It finally dawned on him that we'd been up since 3am, and he said "I'll call you later mom." Good boy. They ended up coming by later on anyway, which, really, whatever. They brought him a giraffe toy, which was cute, but - he's in the hospital. He won't be very receptive, not to mention, he's 3 months. Ah well, it's the thought that counts.

So he was on monitors for oxygen, pulse, and something else throughout the night, as well as marking down when he ate, for how long, and how many diapers he had. They did give him some Tylenol early on because of his coughing - he looked like he was in extreme pain from his sore throat from coughing so much. I asked about it the next day, and they said as long as he doesn't seem to be in any more pain, he won't need it anymore. He slept on and off, and was generally just a content baby. He had one slight spit-up episode, but no real throwing up like he did before. The coughing continued, but wasn't as severe as before. The next morning, hubs came back and gave us the once-over before he went to work, and the pedi came in around noon - noon! I should've gotten lunch! - he was really great, did the donald duck voice and everything. Burrito loved it. He loved all of his visitors actually, and talked incessantly when people were around. Didn't give mama the time of day though, lol. Pedi said that he was hesitant to send him home and have the same thing happen again, but that he looked good and didn't have any apnea or breathing issues, and that if I felt confident being at home with him, he'd  be good to go with just a follow-up appointment. His x-rays were clear, his white cell count, though elevated slightly, was good, showing no signs at that point of pertussis (the test came back clear a couple days after we got home), and in general his cough was lessening. The suction unit they used which attached to the hospital wall helped greatly to clear out some of his mucus too. I asked if we could get one of those for home, but sadly they said no, lol.

So, at around 3pm Monday the 27th, our hospital adventure ended. And promptly after his first feeding at home, burrito coughed and vomited his food up all over me again. Thankfully, it was the last time, and I'm pretty sure it's because we got overzealous with our feeding now that we were home! and freely attached to the boob! on the boppy! He did throw up once more all over daddy the next morning, but that was just out of excitement, ha ha. Apparently it went over daddy's shoulder and hit the floor, and he looked back at the burrito and he was laughing at him. Lesson learned, smaller more frequent feedings til the coughing stops. The actual diagnosis we got from one pedi was bronchialitis, although I'm not sure what all exactly they wrote on his papers because I didn't look at them yet!

So, here we are, over a week later, and he's still got a slight cough from time to time, but is so.much.better. We still suction him and use the saline nasal spray about 4-5 times per day, just to make sure he doesn't choke on all the mucus, but he's so much happier and back to eating like a champ. He has started playing with the toys on his swing tray, actually moving them purposefully, and he even managed to grab his paci the other day and put it back in his mouth. He's talking like nobody's business too. Thank goodness that scare is over. I know there may be hospital visits in the future, but please, universe, can we limit those if necessary at all to the normal things like sprains, strains, bumps, casts, etc and not the terrifying choking non-breathing variety of things?



Benjamino is 15 weeks old today!
and wants you to know that no matter how dino-mite you think his new outfit is, he's still not going to hold still for your picture.

And that he's got team spirit!

Christmas pics! & a Meltdown story.

We went to a local pic place to get some ordinary, generic Christmas pics done at Hubs' request - he had an Austin Powers sharks w/ frickin laser beams moment last week; "all I want is a regular Christmas photo card like everyone else!" so I scheduled an appointment.

We timed everything perfectly, he'd be fed, burped, clean, and we'd put his reindeer shirt on at the picture place. It was working out great, except for having to wait when we got there. Which, of course, solicited a grunt from hubs - "they make you get an appointment, but they make you wait?" I held in my toldyousos.

By the time we got up and ready, we got a couple good shots in and then burrito started to fuss. Ok, maybe he's just gassy, or peed and might need a diaper soon. Continued with the shots. He was fine on his belly, fine sitting with us, but then they got out this present box, and we tried to put him in that...his immediate reaction was "ohHELLno" followed by a little light screaming. Off to the restroom for a diaper change.

Got in the women's room, was bouncing him around to calm him down before I laid him on the cold, cold plastic changing thing - all of a sudden, he starts letting out cries the likes of which I have NEVER heard before. I held him up and turned him around to see if he was bleeding from anywhere, maybe I'd scratched him with my ring (a constant and unfounded fear of mine), maybe he hit a body part on something, maybe his foot was stuck in a strap; nope, nothing. I tried bouncing even harder, patting and rubbing the back to elicit some burps, whatever normally works - no dice. It was literally screaming.bloody.murder. Finally I just decided to go on with the show and laid him down on the changing station.

It was a poo-splosion of epic magnitude. So epic, in fact, that it went up the front of his diaper (not the back), soaked through the onesie, and onto the jeans and back of his nice reindeer shirt. Ok, so apparently he REALLY doesn't like being dirty. Poor kid. Once I got him out of the onesie and diaper and got him wiped up, he went back to his normal happy baby self. When we got out of the bathroom (I put him back in his shirt and jeans for the sake of the pictures), hubs said "was that him screaming? the photo lady said it was, but I said no, he never screams like that, he's happy." Yup, that's your kid with that set of pipes. I told him how I was on the verge of tears and holding him up and looking for blood because I didn't know what was wrong.

After that, the night was pretty much over - anytime we tried to pose burrito, he just wasn't having it. So we had her save the pics on their computer and went back last night to finish them. They titled the folder "meltdown."

Here are some of the finished product:




So cute.

A Birth Story, perhaps?

Sorry, I know it's late. I'm a slacker, what can I say? Didn't even get my TYNotes out from my showers yet. Gar.

SO, on with the show. I had a babydr's appt on Tuesday September 21st, where the doc "agitated" my membranes. Then the rinse cycle started. Oh wait, not a washing machine.
The nurse in the room said that I'd do well through labor because I did well while he was agitating around down there, so I took that as a good sign. It was uncomfortable, but I was expecting some kind of pain or something, so I did my deep breathing. And concentrated on the puppies on the ceiling, lol. I went into work after that, worked a full day, felt fine. I think I was 2cm and 80% at that time.

The next morning, about 130am, I felt uncomfortable, so I figured I just need to go to the bathroom. Went. Woke up again about 10min later, same feeling. It took me until 221am to figure out...wait, that might be a contraction!!! WTFOMG!!1!!!!1 So I told the hubs I was going to go lay down on the couch and time these babies. They were every 9 or so minutes until about 6am, and I slept every now and then. It just felt like a slight back pain, not too bad, so I expected at the time for this to last a long time and to either taper off, or maybe have the kid that week sometime.

After 6am they went away, but I wasn't in the mood to go to work and wouldn't be able to concentrate there to save my trucks, so (sorry, but as I'm writing this, the burrito is napping and his little foot is twitching, it's so damn cute, just had to note it for posterity) I called off work. I asked my friend to stop over to deliver some pads, as I conveniently forgot anything dealing with me leaking (this goes for breast pads too), and some coke, as I was in need of a caffeine fix. As of 1030am the contrax kicked back up again, and got a little bit worse. It was all in my back, I felt nothing in the front, where I thought they'd be. Karma.

So when friend came over, I was rocking away on my bouncy exercise ball, the only thing that did any good against the back pain, I figured out. She only stayed for a bit with her two little ones because I wasn't very much fun, having to be all Rain Man during the contrax.

Hubs was at a work meeting that day, so he was able to leave whenever (which I'm sure he could've done anyway, but it wasn't a day where he was at his typical "office"). I let him know my status and he said to let the babydr know. When I called in, they said to come in, that they'd check me there. Hubs got home and we went in about 1145. At this time, the contrax were worse, so that I'd have to concentrate on them, not talk, walk around, or something of the like in order to get through them.

When they checked me, I was 3cm (I think?), and they said that I could go on over to L&D. Whee! I remember having to stop every so often while walking in and out of the office for contractions. At that point, walking through them was ok.
Went home, got the stuff ready (or just got the last-minute items ready, as the bags were packed previously), and headed over to L&D, two minutes away at the local hospital. I was sitting on a towel in the car, so as not to gush all over hubs' truck, lol.



ready to go!

  Once we got to the hospital, I pretty much just followed hubs, because I was concentrating on breathing through my contractions and being able to make it to the room before having my water break, although I know I can't control that. I think there were a couple of old ladies in the elevator who were chatty, and I ignored them - a sign of things to come...
We got up to L&D and checked in, and they took us to a room. I asked for a bouncy exercise birthing ball, and remembered that the last time I felt nauseated, at the GD blood test, they got me a fan. I was starting to have nausea with each contraction depending on how I was standing or sitting, so hubs suggested we ask for a fan as well. A couple different types of medical people came in and out, and hubs went to go find the ball and fan. They were attaching the belly monitor, and taking my bp every now and then, and I labored there for a while.

After a while, I got changed into the gown, put a "puppy pad" on the ball, and started breathing through the contractions that way. It felt better to have someone rub my lower back (whee, all back labor), and to raise my knees up slightly. The fan helped with the nausea. From time to time a nurse would come in and see if I was ready for my IV yet - I kept saying, do I have to? I'm not ready yet, I'm still nauseated, don't want to throw up, etc. Hubs then said if I just kept saying no I wouldn't have to get one, I could refuse it. So I just kept putting it off. However, I made sure that I had liquid nearby - they gave me apple juice, which sucked...all I want when I'm nauseated is water, although that makes the nausea worse apparently. Pshaw.

Hubs told me that I might speed things up or feel better if I walked around during the contractions. I kept telling him, uh, if I get up I'll puke. I was fine sitting down. Then the nurse came in and said that they were afraid that burrito was sunny-side-up, and it might help if I would either walk around, stand up, or lean forward in order to encourage him to turn. So I stood up for one contraction, leaning on hubs, and promptly threw up all the lovely purple gatorade that I'd just drunk. Oh fun. I didn't want to talk much at that time or else I would've said "TOLD YOU SO."

The contractions continued, and I had someone rubbing my back during each one. Hubs wanted to go home and shower and get something to eat, so he called my mom in to take over Baby Watch 2010. At some point around 3-4pm, lady babydr came in and checked me again, and I was at 5cm I think. I did feel some gushing of fluids when I was on the bouncy ball (thank goodness for the puppy pads), and figured out later that that was my water "breaking." Around 5-6pm, hubs goes home to shower, but skips the food because he wasn't sure how long to be away, as my contractions were getting stronger. They were giving estimates at that point. Someone said 7, someone said 8, I said 7:54pm which is when I was born, and hubs said 7:30.

My contractions were getting stronger and the nurses were recommending I change positions, so sometime around 6 I put the ball on top of the bed and started leaning on it through my contractions. One of the nurses gave hubs a small bottle of lotion to use when rubbing my back, because apparently it was turning red. He said later he almost used the whole bottle. Ah the joy.
I don't know what time it was, but after I stood up, I started to feel like I had to poop. Lady babydr said to just go with what my body said, so I went to the bathroom to see if I had to. Not a whole lot happened, and going to the bathroom with back labor, it is now established, is the worst pain I have ever felt. I went a couple times while I was at the hospital, and it was all I could do not to scream when I had a contraction on the toilet. I think it's the closest I came to actually making noise while having a contraction!

During the last stages of my labor, before I felt like I had to push, I didn't really know what was going, didn't talk to anyone, just nodded my head yes or no. I didn't open my eyes a whole lot either. I knew people were there because of their voices, but I was resting between contractions, and concentrating on breathing during them.
When I finally felt like I had to push, which I didn't realize was actually an urge to push - it felt more like I had to poop - I was still in the standing up position. I kept asking hubs if I had pooped in my fancy mesh underpants. I was really expecting something to be there! And it really did feel like I had to "bear down," which should have been my first clue that the baby was actually coming.

I don't know how many contractions I had while feeling the bear down urge, but at some point, the dr said "ok, I think you may be actually pushing, why don't you get up on the bed?" Good thing too. Since my back labor was insane at that point, and I don't know how I had gotten up on the bed the previous two times that they checked me, she suggested raising the back of the bed so it was almost an L shape, and getting on my knees. Sounded good to me! So I crawled up, put my arms over the back of the bed, butt facing her, and pushed a couple of times. I felt something which I believe can only be described by the infamous "ring of fire" and the dr told me to hold on for a second, I guess she was checking things out. When she said go again, I continued to push - and pop! I felt nothing but the sweet bliss of a baby not in my birth canal anymore. Well, I guess it was more like squish instead of pop.

Anywho, the burrito came out with his left hand on his head, so I was on the receiving end of a 1st degree tear. When he came out, he was scooped up and taken over to the warmer tray to get him ready for dinner, lol. Hubs followed him over while I basked in the feeling (ohmigodnopainnopainnopain), and attempted futilely to push out the placenta. Dr said, "maybe you should flip over, that might help." So I got on my butt (gingerly) and another squish and the placenta was out. Thence proceeded the stitching. That was a bit painful. I did have a shot for the pain, which was also painful, but I don't remember it so it couldn't be as bad as my previous shot in that area - long story.

They asked me if I wanted to hold him, but I said I'd rather have him when the stitching was done and I was able to fully concentrate on him. Hubs watched him through the whole process, he got a 9 on his Apgars, they wrapped him up and handed him to Grandma (my mom) while hubs made some calls. Whee!

He was about the cutest thing ever.

the burrito, day one

look at the hair!

Happy Halloween!

BPF - a one month pic!

My little baby:

'family' picture, including a blurry dog that attempted to join us mid-picture:

the burrito:

BPF

contrary to what his shirt says, the burrito will not smile.

BPF

cell phone pip:

and the regular camera:

B(aby)PF!

first one!

1w2d:

Aaaaand some more pics

Mama and baby:

Ready to go home:

It's not edited yet, but Leroy is very curious about the new noisemaker on the scene:

Sleeping peacefully, for now:

"I'll give you something to cry about" :

And back to sweet again:

Welcome to the world Baby!

Benjamin William was born at 7:44pm on Wednesday September 22nd. He was 7lbs11oz, and 19in long. He's a beautiful baby boy and I'm so thankful!

Stories to come, of course. Now for PIPs!

The morning of:

Fresh out of the oven, with great-grandma: 

After his first home bath: 

Chillin like a burrito: